Writing

Storm Catcher

Watching the cerulean blue sky darken through grey to black.
Clouds gathering. Wind lifting. Trees bending.
The sudden stillness of sound and air.
The smell of a storm rising.
The bird song ceasing, the rustle of the wind in the trees falling silent
Nature holds it’s breath, waiting for the cloud tears to fall
The storm, when it broke, all noise and light.
Ferocious in it’s intensity, stunningly magical
The eruption of thunder and streaks of lightning, rending the sky asunder, rumbling
The weeping, at first tiny droplets of sorrow,
Gently landing as a caress to the dry earth,
Growing in size to land as great juicy globules,
Slow enough to be caught on her tongue
Soon gathering speed, stronger and larger, soaking, penetrating to the skin
Her hair heavy with the rain, face streaked with cloud tears
Her clothes clinging to her, sodden and useless
The Storm Catchers face turned upwards, arms outstretched
Gathering the force of the storm to her, clasping it to her heart
Her feet dancing, revelling in the feel of the rain enveloping her
Feeling the wind gathering, pushing the clouds away
Bringing calm to the landscape, to the Storm Catchers soul.

Opus

you were the music and melody to the lyrics of my unsung song
together we created our star studded opus.
you were the dance my body wanted to learn and move to
you were my reason to breathe deep from the river of life.
you reclaimed your music, your dance. my lyrics withered and died
my body no longer dances, my feet are still and my heart weeps
for the lost love of the river of life

A Lingering Kiss

The voice of your eyes is deeper than your words,
Of True love whispered so sweetly to my heart.
And the kiss lingering there, fills me with emotion
Hard to explain, except that it haunts me
As the memory of your caress haunts me night and day

My Constant Companion

you were there at my birth, you will be there at my death.
you were there when I took my first step, and will be there at my last
you have seen me soar and seen me tumble
you were with me at every stumble, every fall
you were with me through every climb from despair
always constant and always sure
you were part of my first love, and my last
with me during all that was good, the smiles, the laughter
the tears of joy, the blessed moments of star-gazing and sun worship
with me during all that was bad, the tears of disappointment, of pain,
of hurt and despair, the damned moments of loss
you marked me with each minute of every hour, of every day
each year that passed you left your mark upon me, upon my soul
the sound of you, the silence of you, my constant companion
you taught me that you have many paces and many graces
you taught me that patience can be learnt
you taught me that no one should be allowed to control or harness my soul
just as no one has ever controlled or harnessed your essence
you taught me that I must be mistress of my own destiny
you taught me that it is I that holds me back or moves me forward
you taught me you can be cruel and you can be kind
I have been hurt by you and I have been healed by you
you taught me that nothing, but nothing waits for you
my constant companion

Time

Your Final kiss

The day the sea took you remains with me forever.

That night no sleep came. I drifted through consciousness to despair, beyond hope, beyond belief. We knew, you and I that our time was done.

The sea, she was not discriminate in who she took that night, young, barely born, old and those just beginning to learn to live again.

In the hours between dusk and dawn my mind, my very being called to you. Fought for you. Longed for you. Finally you came to me at the breaking of dawn. I felt you and heard you. Yet it was not to stay, it was not to live our dreams.

This was not a farewell. This was beyond doubt goodbye.

I felt the brush of your last kiss, cold against my skin, like a sigh caught by the wind and dropped upon my fevered brow.

I felt your final embrace and the leaving of you shattered me into a million pieces. I knew, without conscious thought, that I would never be the same, life would never be the same. And at last the hot tears of grief came.

I grieved for what had been, what should have been, our past, our future and yes I grieved for our lost love.

Part of my soul, my heart, my mind became shrouded in a dark mist.

Held, suspended in that moment of time when the last breath left your body and caressed my skin.

Memories of you, of us, fingers entwined, eyes locked in hunger, oblivious to others, remain.

The feel of your hands in my hair, lips on my neck, urging me to soar, fly.

There are days, still, when the scent of you drifts into my mind, filling me so that no other scent exists.

There are days when I swear I can feel your arm around my waist and your sweet breath on my skin. On days such as these, time stands still.

Memories of you

The brush of your cold lips, on my fevered brow. As light as a sigh or butterfly wings.

Your final kiss.

You are always on my mind

You are always in my mind, always in my heart
You are ever present, ever constant
A warm glow spreads inside as you speak to me
Caressing me with your eyes and words
Desire rises in me; you make me smile deep inside
Just a glance from you sends my heart racing,
My thoughts spinning out of control

I see you in my minds eye, close and warm, kind and caring
The smell, feel and touch of you never leaves me
Always I yearn for you, the feel of your skin constantly with me
Your touch, your kiss, your arms around me,
To hold you close and feel your breath
To feel your breathing and heart beat quicken in response
Time stands still when I am with you

The warmth in your eyes compels a primeval need
To make you happy, give you joy, see you smile
One glance from you and I am lost
I think I am almost certain I shall always want to please
To see the smile, to feel your heat, your caress
And although the words are not easily said
I think, I am almost certain I am falling for you

I used to write a LOT. I was most prolific in my early teens, whilst still at school. Then when I met my first love and throughout our time together. He was a passenger on the Herald of Free Enterprise and we had become engaged literally the day before he took the trip and was killed. I was devastated. I found that there was a release of grief through writing.

Where I was and what I was doing, even what I was wearing when the news item of the event hit the TV screen will stay with me forever. I imagine it is the same for people who say they remember where they were and what they were doing when they heard about the assassination of JFK .

He had not told me what time he was travelling, he had not told me the name of the vessel. But none-the-less, in the split second of seeing the newsflash and understanding what was on the screen I knew, without a doubt, that he had been on that ferry. I knew without a doubt that he was never, ever, coming home to me. Although I hoped beyond hope that he would. But this is another story, for another time perhaps.

In 2012 I started writing again, before my disintegration, more in 2014 and still more in 2015. I honestly believe this return to writing is an integral and crucial part of my recovery.

I was lucky enough to be asked to contribute to an e-magazine (SnowGlobe Poetry). My heartfelt thanks to Thomas Snow (Twitter @Snowglobeman, Instagram Thomassnowglobe) for believing in me and encouraging me to write.

My published work can be found here:

The Hunger

You are always on my Mind

The Gnarled Tree

Work not previously published:

A Lingering Kiss

My Constant Companion

The Long Lonely Hours

The Taste of You

Without You

My Love, My Life, My Friend

Miracles don’t happen

The Gnarled Tree

That gnarled tree. twisted and bent by mother nature. the wind, the rain, the snow. It’s fingers always stretching reaching for the sky. it’s roots spreading, searching, drinking from the moisture of the soil. Anchoring and holding on tight to the earth. Standing firm, basking in the sunshine, glowing in the moonlight. Allowing it’s shadow to cross the ground providing shade in the day, shelter in the rain, eeriness and thrills at dusk

The Hunger

I want to hold you in my arms
I want to feel your breath on my skin
I want to look deep into your eyes and

I want to see there, that which I feel
desire, need, lust, and yes, love if you will
I want you, so much it touches my core

My soul, my every breath, my every thought
I hunger for you as I have never hungered
I ache for your touch, your kiss, your soul

It is an ache I never thought to feel again
The hunger for you consumes me
Night and day. Gnawing at me.